I Am Woman - Soft Focus Imagining

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I am Woman - Video

"I am Woman" is a very biting and hard hitting look at how men all too often treat woman. It's interesting because of those that have read this, the ones that understand where I'm coming from when I wrote this have suffered from the mental or physical abuses of man. Those that don't understand it have not.

This was originally conceived as a much shorter piece back in the 2002 / 2004 time frame but I then heard one too many tales and this was born. Everything that is mentioned is actually based in reality.

I am Woman.
Written and Screenplay by Nigel Aves.

© Nigel Aves 2010.

Editor and adviser Amy Jo Searle

<< Sitting in an arm chair, probably wearing jeans or a dress (long), ‘T' shirt, hair looking tidy but not "fresh from the hairdressers, tired dark under eyes, no lipstick. >>

I sit here and wonder about all that is me, or is it even me but a false image created to please others. I often wonder about who I really am now, have I been moulded and manipulated to please others or did I do it my self to pleasure me? I wish I knew. When I was born and taking those first few breaths of air, delivered through a mask and purified so that none of the real world could filter into my innocent lungs, I thought to myself as those bleary images flashed in front of me for the first time, "You know what, I've been born equal to everything". I suppose I was able to suffer from delusion for quite some time, it seemed to me that I really was equal in all ways, even maybe when that smart arsed kid, I think I was 5 and he about 7, decided to see if there really was a difference between our legs or if it was all rumours. Except for my 2nd boyfriend, I think his name was Ralph, my panties have never come off so quickly! I still ponder those thoughts about why it is, that, what is mine is not mine but most men think it is theirs as well. Do I really have something that I should be giving away at every opportunity?

<< Possibly film in Kitchen cutting vegetables. >>

I never really thought about those differences in any way until I was 12 or 13. Then my breasts started to swell and a tuft of silky hair started growing and if I touched myself there in a certain way it would get slippery and wet. I think that is when I realised that maybe there was a difference and maybe we where not all equal.  I had seen pictures of men, all kinds of men, one of my friends found a whole load of old "Sun Worshipers" magazines in an rickety wooden shed, I remember thinking that, well, you know, some of the women's vaginas where looking a little, umm, "used" but I guess I did not really think much about it because I was looking at all the different shapes and sizes of the men and wondering how some of them would actually fit. Then my friend found a magazine that had a man with a hard on, that really had me wondering. I guess I was a little naïve at the time but then I was only 13 and all my sex education had been learned from chatting with my friends.

<< Possibly film in bathroom, cleaning cutting>>

As I "sit" <<or however we shoot this>> here now chuckling about it I have to really wonder where on earth they heard some of the things they said, or did they just make it up because they where as ignorant as me but could never admit it. Maybe they are now living in their delusional world thinking everything is fine and dandy, couple of kids at college, the old man brings in the money and all they have to do is lay on the bed with their legs open wide and put up with the smell of "whiskey on the breath", shit, thinking about it that would probably be a good name for an aftershave, think I could sell that to the masses? "Why drink your self silly, when all you need do is splash "Whiskey on the Breath" on, before shower, before shave, before sex, cologne for men". And then when that erotic moment of passion is over douche themselves silly to wash the cum from their cunts and his breath from their mouths. I suppose that when a marriage gets like this it is the closest form of biblical prostitution that any religion allows.

<< Film in Bedroom, lying on beds>>

I suppose God knew what HE was doing? And why the fuck is God a man anyway, was the big bang him having the biggest orgasm possible, spewing his cum into a void that would eventually give birth to humanity. They say you can still hear his grunting, echoing through the corridors of time and space.   Ha, I wonder how much Vaseline he had to use to lubricate him self? And look at us now, he must be oh so proud of his achievements! And here I sit in my dingy room, surrounded by my dingy things, watching dingy television and wondering if I should pleasure myself with my dingy vibrator. Did I tell you what he gave me as a Christmas Present? We'd only been married a couple of years and although things where ok I have to admit that the sex had drifted off a bit, like, it felt as though he was doing in from rote rather than his soul. Anyway, come Christmas morning their where presents under the tree so excitedly I sat down with him to open them. He handed me my first gift with a rather strange smirk on his face, I guess looking back I should have known that something was up, please excuse the pun, I opened it and there in all it's glory was a gift that I was not expecting. I wonder how many husbands have given their wives a "Gyrating Beaded Wonder" for Christmas. I can still see the printing on the box as clear as the Christmas cards that had fallen on the floor from a gust of wind, "This product is made out of a soft jelly material in which you insert a vibrating bullet to create the fluttering action of the tongue". I sat there wondering if I should use it to stuff the turkey with it; that would surprise his parents over Christmas diner as I scooped from the baked and browned bird a "Gyrating Beaded Wonder". Would the batteries hold up?

<< Possibly film sitting at dining room tables>>

I walked over to the liquor cabinet to pour myself a drink and try to calm myself down. Is this what our marriage had come to? Was I supposed to lay in bed and pleasure myself on my own because he was no longer interested in me or was he expecting to be the one holding the fucking thing and plunging it into me as he forced his dick down my throat? The answer came a little to quickly in my next present, oh Christ I thought, I had given him a gold bracelet and a couple of books by Tom Clancy and so far I was a vibrator widow, fucking myself silly with the help of EverReady Batteries. They last longer you know? I open my next present with what has to be a little trepidation. Looking at the size and the shape, the feel and the weight I knew this was videotape.  Hum, Gone with the Wind, re-mastered or maybe Wizard of Oz or .... NO NO NO, "Debbie Does Dallas" some skin flick with bad acting and girls in their 20's trying hard to look like they are 17 or 18 and still at school. Oh shit, time for another stiff, again excuse the pun, drink. Is this what my life had come to? Is it? IS IT? What the fuck did this cunt think of me? Did he intend to fuck me with the vibrator, his dick down my throat, looking at some badly done porn film, with one of the girls getting fucked in the ass and the guy Cumming all over her ass "for the money shot", with the other girl licking it off, ohh the other girl is sat on the couch waiting I guess to earn some money, except you never really saw that, she sort of tried but then no more, so I suppose she did not earn all her money that day.  OK OK, I'd seen this before, I think my third or was it my forth boyfriend, umm Neil or Joe, had it?  Listen, I did not watch it with him, OK, I watched it one night when he had drunk too much and could not get hard and fell asleep on the coach. Snoring his head off he was, so I plugged it in and watched it. YAWN ....

<< In Bathroom, shower running in back grounds>>

So let me ask you, when was the last time any guy pulled out before and used his hand to finish off? GO ON, tell me, be honest. Yea right. I hear you, it never happened did it. There he was with his dick in your mouth and your gagging on it and he pulled out? OK OK. So I'm being a little crude, but what do you think life is but a little crude. You call this life? I call it hell on earth but it's all I have. It's all I have to work on. It's all I have to be with. It's all I have. All I have. All I have. I work hard and try to earn some money but even at work I'm pushed down because I'm female. God help us All. I can do the job, I do it well, really well but men are promoted over me because "I might have a baby and where would that leave us?", and if you think that I am going to screw my self to the top, forget it. I am Women, but I am a proud Woman, so to all of you that have no concept as to what Women is,  "FUCK YOU ALL". "I NEED TO GET CLEAN"

<< Get into shower, fade out>>

<< Fade in, now sitting naked in the chair but with a towel loosely wrapped over, fresh out of shower. Now makeup is done to full, eye shadow, lip stick etc.  >>

<< There is a glass of Vodka in hand; on table there is a Vodka bottle, empty. >>

<< Next to bottle is snub nose revolver, next to that is a one bullet, bullet is standing up, next to that is box of bullets>>.

<<Shot starts on bullet, pulls back to women >>

You know something? I've just drunk some good ass Vodka and watched some bad TV. Documentaries about how Women are treated in Islamic countries, or should I say cunt-tries. You know if I lived in Afghanistan I would probably put this gun to my head and blow my brains, all over this room, YES I HAVE BRAINS YOU FUCK. Hey, tell me something, would you clean up the mess or have someone come in with their power cleaners and industrial vacuums to do it for you?  Well, would you? What am I to you? Something that walks around and does what you want, when you want it, how you want it , as often as YOU want it? You know something, I have feelings too, I really do. I'm a real person, with real feelings, with a real body and believe it or not a real soul. I guess that all I really wanted was to be someone that could be apart of a team, to be apart of a whole, to be apart of a union that would make 2 into one. BUT NO.

<< Take towel off and open legs. >>

All you wanted was something that could be fucked.

<< Points at vagina. >>

And for you to leave your cum in. GO ON; be honest for once in your life.


<< Picks up towel and wraps it around herself. >>

Let me tell you something and this time listen. Oh go on, put on the puppy dog look because you are not hearing what you want to hear, hey like the time you asked me to get my tongue pierced so that YOU would have more pleasure. I don't remember you saying that you would have yours pierced so that I, yes I, would have more pleasure. Crap, when was there anytime when I was the one that was supposed to get pleasured? Name one, go on, name one? Oh, OH, the time you got drunk and offered me to all your Poker buddies, remember that? What was the joke you came up with? Oh yea, my poker buddies are Pokering her now.  Very funny, very very fucking funny. Well my love, seeing how well you treat me, seeing how well you adore me, seeing how well that I am the perfect fit in you life here is a little something for you to remember me by ....

<< Picks up gun and put one bullet in. >>

<< Raises gun and puts just in front of mouth>>

My only wish is that your tiny worthless prick was in my mouth now, I could blow you, oh how I could blow you... blow your balls all across the ro....

<<Ends with the trigger being pulled and a "click", there is no gun going off, just the click of the trigger >>

<< Blackout into titles ... Ending titles music. Female singing "Only Women Bleed" by Alice Cooper >>

<< "Titles" over shot of shower running in a tub, fake blood dripping and going down the drain. Shot from the front looking between open legs (knees pointing at camera) from about the thigh down focused on the drain. Legs in soft focus>>

<< Titles fly out of drain>>

"I AM Woman" copyright Nigel Aves 2010.  Revision 4.
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All photographs displayed are copyrighted on today's date by Nigel Aves Photography
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